Week 1

On the first day after I left office life behind, this happened.

The first snow of the season. It didn't stick, and melted before the day was over, but it was a nice reminder that this year, I won't have to dress in layers and snow boots and walk two miles in unpredictable Chicago winter weather, or spend 90 minutes bundled up on the train  I've had days over the last few years where snow got in my boots, where buses splashed my clothes in slush, where I forgot my hat and my ears froze, where the train ran half speed due to ice on the tracks, where I tried to take the L instead of walking to stay warm, only to have it take twice as long. A Chicago winter commute is no fun, and I'm glad to have traded it in.

And here's what I traded it in for.

This is my current setup. Yes, that's my water heater over to the right, and yes, those are tools hanging over my laptop. This is Mike's workbench, which he has been gracious enough to let me borrow until I can get my office space in the bedroom set up. It's not perfect and won't work long term, but look! It's in my house. 

When I first started commuting again in early 2014, it didn't seem like that big of a deal. I was in school two days a week and commuted for two more.  Somehow the commute at that time felt like a little break in my week. I mostly read during it and listened to music. I guess it was a break between being a student, being an employee, and being a parent. But kids get older and have different needs. Work grows more stressful. And school ends, usually. And at the point where I changed from part time student/part time employee to full time employee is where my work life balance imploded. I pushed through for a while hoping it would get better. Then pushed trough more for the sake of benefits and additional salary. But when Mike took a job that put him back to commuting far from home, that was the end for my commuting life. 

I felt suddenly like I was failing at everything. Work, home, family. Everything felt like it was falling through the cracks, always. Something had to give. And that's when I made the decision to come home. It was an easy decision to make.

It was one week ago today that I walked out of my office for the last time. I instantly felt stress melting away. As the week has gone on, I know without a doubt that this was he right move to make, and the right time. I know that as my new job progresses, the stress level will rise. And I know that this kids' needs will continue to evolve. But I also know that here, I feel better equipped to handle it. Here, I can carve out the balance I need. Here, at home.